Wednesday, 21 January 2009

Super #2

Needing to get out of work for a breather, I visit one of the Supermarkets for a sandwich and something to throw together as meal later.  Oh and a bottle of wine to stare longingly at all afternoon, (until I can escape the drudgery and feed the monkey on my back).  Having learned from escapades with the auto checkouts, I smugly place myself in line at one of the attended tills and watch the auto checkout users pulling their hair out, as their queues get longer.

I'm quickly at the front, I've had the items scanned and feeling ahead of the game.  
Alas, I have forgotten the 'new rules'.

The checkout lady adjusts the armband on her uniform, pulls her jackboots under her stool and fixes me a look of cool steel.

"Would you like a bag?"

Shit.  I hadn't planned on coming to the supermarket and so inevitably hadn't brought one of my stash of 'green reusables.  Shit.
I quickly scan the immediate locale to see if I can buy a 'green' bag, but am out of luck.
I gaze at my shoes, 

"Yes please"
" I'm sorry?  I didn't quite catch that?"
"erm...I said... erm.. yes please?"
"No, still not hearing you.  Can you repeat that?"
"YES PLEASE, I WOULD LIKE A BAG"

There is immediate silence, as every shopper turns to look at me with scorn.  The only sound heard is that of another tree falling in another dying rainforest.
A man at the auto-checkout drops his handful of hair and tuts pointedly.

The checkout guard hands me the flimsiest of plastic bags, and fixes me with me that glare.

"You won't forget again will you?"
"No Miss.."
"Are you quite sure?"
"Yes Miss"

"Good.  We'll be watching.."

3 comments:

Bright Ambassador said...

Fuck th bag Nazis. What irks me is that at M&S you have to pay for a bag in the food department but get one free if you buy a pack of hankies in the clothes section. I'm going to start paying for food in the clothes section, that'll show these bastards.
Oh, and if they're SO concerned for the envoironment, how's about they start turning off the lights at night?

Ishouldbeworking said...

It's people like you who are rogering the planet to death, man. you deserve to be buried in a landfill site. With a little biodegradable headstone, reading "Hey, it was only a carrier bag" to mark the spot.

Roman Empress said...

My Mum bought me one of those little shopping bags that folds down to the size of a mobile phone which I keep with me, but I used to recycle their bags anyway as bin liners. They didn't think of that. Tsk.

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