Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Bog etiquette














Personally, I don’t go to the toilet ever. It’s dirty and uncouth, and I’m rather an antiseptic individual, so I’ve given it up. Obviously I have to enter public conveniences seventy or eighty times a day to wash my hands. Over the last year, I’ve noticed a increasing number of occupants of cubicles either on their mobile phones, or talking loudly to themselves. Obviously if it’s the latter, they can’t help it and you should politely wait for them to finish their monologue and business, before quietly having them sectioned. If its the former, you should kick the door in and shout, “WHAT YOU’RE DOING IS WRONG!” into their straining faces. Surely no one wants to be on the telephone, having a conversation which may be punctuated by the sounds of another human's evacuations?

8 comments:

Ishouldbeworking said...

I've yet to hear a woman nattering on her mobile whilst micturating. Though perhaps it's only really possible if you can make the whole thing into a 'one-handed operation' (as some men seem to insist on doing, regardless of what state the floor ends up in). The filthy beasts.

Word Ver: 'nobarm'. I'm not making it up.

Clair said...

Oh, I've heard 'em, believe me. But then again, where I work, half the women appear to be unaware of how a lavatory works and are unable to use them properly. Ugh.

Bright Ambassador said...

I thought I worked with a bunch of animals, clearly not. Mind you, mobile phones are confined to lockers or the canteen at Stalag Luft Daloon.

The smell left is more of my concern; what do these people eat? I NEVER poo at work, by the way.

Piley said...

I work with someone who swears by pooing at work. He reckons going at work is a result, as you are being paid to poo! Serious! This guy has been known to turn up 'breaking his neck' - adamant not to do it in his own time.

P

PS - it is NOT me!

Simon said...

A colleague of mine argues "Well, toilet paper costs money, and if you are on a water meter..." for going as much as possible at work. He'll even pop in to use them on a day off if he happens to be in town, rather than some other public convenience.

Ishouldbeworking said...

Some ideas people have. Maybe a Time and Motion consultant is needed?

鄭珮瑜 said...

may the blessing be with you.........................................

于雅慧毓 said...

Nothing comes from nothing.......................................................

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