I was in a room with a switched-on television set just the other day, and was lucky enough to catch the last five minutes of Masterchef. They had just annouced the winner, who was in tears much to the delight of presenters Roger Cook and Peter Cook ("thads a beaudiful plade-a-food").
The camera cuts to the 'runners-up' who are accompanied by their thoughts in voice over.
"I'm devastated..." says Margaret Cook, "...I really thought I had it nailed this year...Devastated."
"It was my dream... my absolute dream. It now lies shattered on the floor.....like..so..much..Pyrex" weeps finalist Captain Cook.
Cheer up people. YOU DON'T NEED TO HAVE APPEARED ON MASTERCHEF TO GET A JOB IN CATERING!
Right, I'm off to watch more. There's a show on with Cheryl Rooney!