Sunday, 25 May 2008
You're only as old as you etc
Things that I hate about getting older:-
Bits of you sag, or actually fall off.
The fact that you have to try and 'get on' at work and it's ultimately hollow and that you're mostly treading water until you retire.
The fact that people around you are also getting older.
People look at you funny if you're in Waitrose, wearing those trainers with the wheels on the bottom.
You can afford all the gadgets in the world, but can no longer make any of them work.
When you stare at girls in short skirts it's because you're worried they may be cold.
Things that I like about getting older:-
You don't feel so obliged to do things that other people want you to do.
You can wear slippers without feeling self-conscious.
The ability to grow hair in strange places.
You don't have to worry about being 'cool' (although I am VERY COOL).
You can't remember what it is you're supposed to be worried about.
You don't have to pursue sex anymore. Or even think about it. Or do it.
You don't care whether people like you.
Things I liked when I was kid but now dislike:-
The Sex Pistols.
The Young Ones.
Things I disliked as a kid but now like:-
School - I'd love to be back at school.
Exercise (except in a gym).
Things that I disliked as a kid and still dislike:-
Steve Wright in the Afternoon.
Carry On Films.
Advice I would give to my younger self:-
Be more adventurous.
Be less self conscious.
Leave home and buy a house as soon as you can.
Buy shares in Microsoft.
Don't give up the guitar practice.
Don't start smoking.
Don't start a bloody blog or you'll have to keep thinking of lists to populate it.
Don't ask Janice Fagin out.