Thursday, 17 July 2008

Is Modern Life Rubbish?


Yes, quite frankly.

  • We have TV's that are thinner, but the picture is worse. Apparently the widespread introduction of High Def should bring it back up to the same quality.
  • The introduction of High Def TV will bring so much clarity of image crystal clear sound and vivid colours it'll be like watching TV with a hangover.
  • The High Def DVD/ Blu-Ray DVD introduction will eventually phase out the legacy DVD products and allow us to re -buy our DVD collections
  • When we do manage to tune out all that vivid colour and clarity, there's nothing to watch except the fifty derivatives of Dancing with the Stars/ Auditions for Musicals or that awful Doctor Who remake.
  • We have MP3's that don't sound as good as the CD's.
  • When we've ripped all our tracks and tranferred them to our iPods we can transmit them into our car stereos further reducing the listening experience.
  • We have jobs that involve just looking at emails all day and not actually doing anything.
  • The world is ending with temperatures getting hotter/colder and wetter/dryer.
  • Instead of seeing someone for a drink, you can have a virtual drink with them on Facebutt, which is a far more rewarding.
  • All our youth seem hell-bent on carry weapons as a deterrent in case thay get attacked, whilst the government (who also seems hell-bent on stockpiling weapons, in case we get attacked) seem powerless to do anything about it.
  • The price of fuel has gone up, which should finally encourage the use of public transport which doesn't go anywhere we want to go at the times we want to go there.
  • Councillor Christine Mills is Mayor of Wolverhampton. Whaddya mean you don't care? We have to listen to whingeing about Boris 'Who Cares' Johnson.
  • David Beckham's got his own range of pens out. Apparently they stop you moving your lips when you write.
  • Eveyone now has a mobile phone so they can be reached anywhere. I don't want to be reached anywhere.
Hehe. I'm turning into Terry Wogan.

8 comments:

Ishouldbeworking said...

All that grumbling will play havoc with your prostate, you know.

Valentine Suicide said...

To be honest, mate, it's not doing much for me Irritable Bowel Syndrome, me Repetitive Strain Injury or me PMS either.

BPP said...

My telly's fine, I don't own an MP3 player, I don't 'rip' anything, I don't own an iPod (and neither should you unless you want music delivery to be controlled by one corporation), my job involves going to rock concerts, drawing the odd picture, writing an article here and there, and drinking, the world's not ending, Facbook can go hang, our youth aren't all carrying knives, fuel's only expensive because people have forgotten what dangles beneath their pelvises, Ken Livingstone openly admitted to cheating the entire country when it came to the Olympics, and I don't own a mobile phone and therefore cannot be reached.

So there. Cheer up, you dole-scrounging shithouse.

Valentine Suicide said...

My telly's also fine, and also nearly as deep as a fridge.
I like to have mobile music, and reluctantly bought an iPod after slagging them off on this very blog for a couple of months. The music I play on is not controlled by one corporation. That only applies if you shop at iTunes. Which I don't.

99.9% of Facebook CAN go hang, it's just a way of targetted marketing to it's 'friends'. I find that 0.1% quite useful.

I bought my first ever mobile phone this month.

My dole office is 24 miles away with no bus route, so to keep my lifestyle, so I need the expensive fuel, unless what dangles from my pelvis is a fresh air powered jet-pack.

AND WHAT ABOUT DAVID BECKHAM'S PENIS!

Valentine Suicide said...

I mean Pens.

Geoff Prickett said...

No you don't.

Geoff Prickett said...

My rancid sister spent £750 on a new HD telly. It was rectangular and made the cast of Holby City look as though they were stretched.
What happened to the proper square tellies???

Jon Peacey said...

So I am right to hang on to my old CRT square telly- I'm not the only one to think the picture quality on the flat ones is rubbish!

And I'm right to not bother with an Mp3 jobby and just stick with my CD collection. Better and better!

And I'm not the only one who got bored of the Mayor of London thing either! (Can I add the 2012 Olympics to that too?)

And I tend to turn my mobile off. Or it hides.

It's all avaricious capitalism rather than human necessity that's bred this situation.

BTW: I don't think I've got an Cartel of Oil Producing Countries dangling between my legs but I'll check next time I get dressed just in case...

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