Sunday, 14 December 2008

Meandering













It's Christmaaaaaaaaaaas!

Must be, the X-Factor has given birth to yet another Whitney/Mariah clone for us all to enjoy. This one's even managed to taint Jeff Buckley's version of Hallelujah. Cheers Simon Cowell. That Ballroom Dancing show will deliver up another sequined winner next weekend using the identical X-Factor format, with it's pantomime judges. I suppose the Ice Dancing one will be on our screens again soon, unless the public has finally tired of that b-lister? Do your turn, get criticised or praised by the evil one, the sensible one, the funny one or the national treasure. Then have the public vote to get you booted off. Repeat to fade.

The shops and supermarkets are all full of people to jostle and irritate me. I'm queuing to pay the fifty quid for a tree to moult spiky things onto my carpet, with Judy Garland coming from a hidden speaker, singing something joyous so mournfully that my vital signs start to ebb...

I've had a cold these last few days which isn't helping. I've had to listen to endless 'jokes' about 'man-flu' from the harridans around me whilst they're taking a break from multi-tasking. I've been feeling to weak to banter, so have taken to muttering under my breath. They taunt me for a while, then move on to the next male with a cold. I hear cackles, an enquiry about 'man-flu'. I continue muttering.

Whilst in the supermarket, I brave the self-checkout, as I only have a magazine and a sandwich. I'm far from a technophobe. I own every single gadget known to mankind and have built computers from their core components. I can never get through the self-checkout without help, though. This time it decided it didn't like my card. I give up and go to an attended checkout. The machine there likes my card just fine, but I have to suffer the checkout boy's festive deeley-boppers. I visit this particular supermarket about once a year. Each year I think they couldn't do anything to make this experience worse. Each year I'm proved wrong.

Oh well, three depressing festive tunes to cheer me up..



8 comments:

Clair said...

Taking those ditties in order:
Ha ha ha
Awww...
*Slashes wrists*

BPP said...

Another collection of shit songs. If I've learned one thing from reading other people's blogs, it's that you all have an appalling taste in music.

You dregs!

Merry Christmas!

Matthew Rudd said...

VS, I've decided to say all three songs are crap, even without clicking any of them. So ner.

Valentine Suicide said...

Well, one was by Duran Duran, one by Gloria Estefan and the last was by Howard Jones. So a double ner backatchawithacherryontop.

BPP said...

Ha! That's the bloody spirit! I'm following Mr. Rudd's example in future and not listening to any of the rubbish you post, you dole-thieving traitor!

Ishouldbeworking said...

I hate Christmas, and you just made me hate it more.


Word verification 'thictro'.

Valentine Suicide said...

Just looked up that word verification in the dictionary..

"Thictro - A type of eighties music made popular by Howard Jones"

Well I never...

Mr H said...

Christmas is pure, dead brilliant and should be compulsory, especially on The Jews and The Islams.

The unemployed, however, should be used as snow ploughs, keeping the streets clear for those of who pay out taxes.

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