Friday, 4 September 2009

I've gone vampire crazy me. I've been watching all manner vampire based TV and films old and new, and thought I'd give you a rundown of what I liked and what I didn't.

1. That picture to the left. Isn't that just the crappest vamp ever? Except for Tom Cruise in Interview with the Scientologist. OBVIOUSLY!

2. Twilight. Couldn't actually face watching this (probably) feeble exercise in futility. For teenage fans of the books and middle aged ex-goths who wish they were still young. You know, the ones who still have crystals and tarot, and say things like "You can't quantify the universe. You can't quantify the spirit",
I'd say avoid but I'm not qualified to give an opinion.

3. Near Dark. By flavour of the month director Kathryn Bigelow. I still like this modern day vampire oat-opera. even if it does feature perennial nineties whiner Bill Paxton.

4. 30 Days of Night. I quite liked this. Even if it is a bit of rip-off of Near Dark. With a bit of The Thing rolled up in it. Actually, The Thing would be my number one vampire flick, if it was about vampires. But it isn't. So it isn't. Hope that's clear?

5. True Blood. I've been watching this re-imagineering (heh) of the old legends, and it's quite good. with liberal doses of sex and swearing, and lots of subtexts around race and prejudice. My Mrs always picks the moment when there's a sex scene on to walk into the room. "Watching vampire porn again, VS?", she says. Doesn't help that I watch it naked I s'pose?

So there you go. A complete and extensive guide to the vampire genre. Absolutely nothing worth bothering with.

Except this:



Stay tuned at the end of the trailer to see it reviewed by morons.

4 comments:

Simon said...

If you want a bit of vampiric travel, you could try Sundays With Vlad by Paul Bibeau. I waffled about it here: http://llamafriend.blogspot.com/2009/04/fangs-lot.html

Mondo said...

Have you seen Nosferatu (the late seventies remake). An absolute corker.

Have Bram Stoker's Dracula - one of the most chilling books I've read. If you haven't yuo should go back to the source material. Genius (even if there are a few too many coincidences - and the phrase "friend Jonathan" will grate after a while.

Valentine Suicide said...

I'll add Sundays With Vlad to my reading list, thanks Simon. Once a Goth...

I don't think I have seen the remake of Nosferatu (or the original. I did however enjoy the fictionalised 'making of' - Shadow Of The Vampire' Worth a watch if you've not seen it.

Ishouldbeworking said...

No mention of 'The Hunger'? Catherine Denuve bites Susan Sarandon after a good roll in the hay. And David Bowie turns into an old man before your very eyes, just like in real life.

Plus Pete Murphy doing his Angst-Dance. Everything a chap could want.

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