In the spirit of Wimbledon, I am going to be holding prestigious music/sporting events in my home. Please feel free to queue and camp in my front garden overnight ahead of these events, only to be told that there's not enough room for you to get in . Enjoy!
- Posted using BlogPress from my brainwaves.
I'm in your garden right now, squatting down behind that horrible shrub near your fence. I'm going to leave in a bit, with an armful of your underwear. I'm thinking of it as my very own Grand Slam trophy.
And don't ring the Fuzz, because I'll show them this blog entry and say you invited me in.
Festival etiquette: block up your toilet. Overnight, turn down the treble on your stero but up the bass. Then play low for simulating distance ie a band on stage.
Wimbledon etiquette: Laugh theatrically every time a bird lands on the lawn.
They'll never believe I posted an entry on here.
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