Saturday, 25 August 2007

Land Speed Record Attempted


This week, for some indeterminable reason, I decided to try and break the Land Speed Record. I failed of course. Partly because I only got up around 5pmh and partly because I wasn't on land.

Buddy JT and I took to the filthy waters of The Shropshire Union in a two-man inflatable kayak. We'd been discussing the possibility of white-water rafting, or a trip down the Severn for quite some time, when JT was offered the loan of said craft. Initial plans were to throw ourselves in at the deep-end and hit the Severn on a fourteen mile down river trek, but common sense prevailed (thanks Madame) an we decided on a bit of practice. Just as well, as we spent the first hour going around in circles, hitting bridges, narrowly avoiding narrow boats and generally behaving with little regard to our own, or anyone else's safety.

After about ninety minutes, we were professionals (definition: able to travel in a straight line without reducing passing joggers/dog walkers to hysterical laughter) and were making good progress. We were also thoroughly enjoying ourselves.

It's great to look at the world from a different perspective, and the stretch of canal we had picked cuts exclusively through countryside and barely touches civilisation. After we'd travelled about a mile we paused and just enjoyed the silence whilst bobbing about on the scummy liquid.

As darkness approached and we made our way back to the cars, we began making plans, and when I arrived home and regaled M'zelle with our adventure, telling her what equipment I needed to buy and where we would be going next. Her face had "Here we go again..." written all over it, but she didn't say anything. Bless her.



Ishouldbeworking said...

Did you sing the theme from 'Hawaii Five-O' at any point? I only ask because I've never managed to wield an oar without doing so. I'd like to think I'm not the only one.

Congratulations on your new obsession, though, VS!

Five-Centres said...

VS you are such an action man. It's all I can do to get off the sofa.

Valentine Suicide said...

You are bound by law to sing 'Hawaii Five O' on the Shropshire Union. JT didn't and he's now in the stocks at Shrewsbury Castle. As for my new obsession, this should give me the opportunity to test a theory I have long held. I will get irrevocably bored with any new obsession EXACTLY 72 hours after spending a couple of thousand pounds on it.

As for being an action man.. Mme S is laughing like a drain at that comment 5C.

Gwen said...

Everyone needs a good obsession even if you have to spend a lot of money on it to prove that it was only an obsession.

Gorilla Bananas said...

ISBW - singing the Hawaii-Five-0 theme never fails to add a couple of knots to your speed. It's what I recommend when a crocodile approaches your rowboat in the Congo.

Ishouldbeworking said...

It's certainly one that everybody knows the words to.

Rob said...

that looks like an entirely sensible way to be spending your time - good work, VS

Valentine Suicide said...

gb - a crocodile would not dare go anywhere near isbw's rowboat.

Blogger said...

Did you know you can shorten your long urls with AdFly and make cash from every visit to your short urls.