Friday, 13 March 2009

How dare you..




















I was completely devastated, disturbed, disgusted and insulted* to be referred to as a 'Brummie' this morning, for about the hundred thousandth time in my life.

I'm not a Brummie.  A Brummie is someone from Birmingham.  I wasn't born there.  I have never lived there.  Birmingham is about twenty five miles from where I live.  I am not a Brummie.

It's often people from 'darn sarf' who make this error, and it's usually after they hear me speak.  I haven't got the strongest West Midlands accent in the world, but it's there.  It's not a Brummie accent though.  It's tainted with a slight Black Country tinge.  So I'm probably more of a 'Yam-Yam' (someone likely to say "Yow am" or "Yow'm" instead of "You are").

I'm not a Yam-Yam either though, 'cause I live in Staffordshire.  The county that brought you Shane Meadows and Paddy Considine.  
("Surely that was Nottinghamshire, VS?"
   "Nar M'Duck, Meadows is from Leek, Considine from Burton"
Alas, I have no territorial claim on either, as I was born in Shropshire.  Carole Decker anyone?)

Anyway, Southern Softies, to avoid offending 'my people' here's how you tell a Brummie from a Yam-Yam.  It's a one-word thing, like telling an American from a Canadian by the way they say "out" (or "oot").
If they pronounce the word "Years" as "Yuurz" they are most likely from Brum.  If they say "Ye-uz" they'll be God's Own Black Country dwellers.  Simple. 

Obviously this is NOT going to stop me referring to anyone from Essex, Kent, Berkshire and parts of West Sussex as 'Cockneys'.  I thank you.

*not really bothered

Have a jolly nice weekend.  To set you up, here's the most menacing use of an East Midlands accent ever committed to celluloid.

7 comments:

Bright Ambassador said...

Well Meadows couldn't wait to get out of Uttoxeter, and, quite frankly, I'm not surprised. I went to Uttoxeter once and it was shut. Which really is saying something for someone from Newark.

I love the way Meadows tempers the extreme menace by having Gary Stretch and his mob roll up in a 2CV.

"Yer fuckin' there, mate."

I reckon that Considine's use of the 'c' word in the opening few minutes of that film is one of the greatest things ever commited to celluloid.
Of course, Considine's family all support D***y County, but he doesn't. Good.

Ishouldbeworking said...

Do you say 'bostin' when something's good? Or is that Brummie too?

Word verification 'tourrop'. Sounds like Black Country slang for a woman of easy virtue to my Cockney ear.

Valentine Suicide said...

I like the scene where he apologises to Herbie for calling him a C**t, BA. Whilst pretending to be contrite, he appears utterly dangerous.
Fantastic film, genius performance.

Bostin' IS Black Country, my Cockernee friend. Not said casually much these days, except by real dedicated users of the dialect. I can hardly understand these people meself.

BPP said...

You Brummies make me sick. With your sideburns, curly hair, platform shoes, kipper ties and flared trousers you all look like idiots. And the way you mangle the English language is downright offensive.

If I had my way, I'd have the lot of you bound up in chicken wire and drowned in a lake.

Valentine Suicide said...

I'm NOT A BLOODY BRUMMIE,Perry!

Brummies make me sick. With their sideburns, curly hair, platform shoes, kipper ties and flared trousers they all look like idiots. And the way they mangle the English language is downright offensive.

If I had my way, I'd have the lot of them bound up in chicken wire and drowned in a lake.

BPP said...

I heartily agree with everything you've said, Valentine. A better summing up of the appalling Brummie race I couldn't have written m'self.

You awful Brummie arsehole.

Fire Byrd said...

As someone who was born in the Black country, left at 21, lived down sarf for several years and has spent the last 20 years living in a place that the tourist guides say is in Derbyshire.... it's not it's bloody Staffordshire you morons, I know how you feel.... except I'm getting out and going to Devon as soon as youngest gets a job.

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